Sunday, June 9, 2013

Generally, I don't threaten small children.

I was standing innocently in the grocery store line (some obscure store I've never been to before, that's the way it is in dreams) awaiting my turn to checkout when it happened-- the creeping hand around the curve of my ass.

Whoever it was had a nice touch, but I wasn't cozy with the situation. This was hardly the time or the place for anyone to be making such movements across my personal space.

Imagine my surprise when I looked down and realized a small child had decided to grab a lovin' handful of my hiney! forward!

I leaned down and whispered into the little guy's ear, "Just what do you think you're doin'?"

He beamed up at me with all the innocence of Satan's first born and explained, "I'm just trying to not be old."

(To be honest, I don't know what the hell he meant by that. These dreams rarely come with director's commentary.)

I quickly responded with a slight hiss in my voice,"Well, you are doing a good job, kiddo, because if you don't take your hand off my ass, you will meet an early death."