Sunday, August 16, 2015

I know what's mine.

I remember freedom now.

I had forgotten about it somehow. Perhaps it's because I'm the only one left in this place who's ever seen it. I put it out of my mind, having lost hope to retrieve it. Perhaps it was because I knew I could ignore captivity if I didn't have anything to compare it to. If there's no such thing as the Light, how can there be a Darkness? and if there's no such thing as Darkness, then how can I be in it?

So I forgot about it. It was the only way to survive the madness we have here.

But here it is. Freedom is on the other side of this thick wall of glass. I was never meant to be here. I was never meant to see this. I was never meant to know that the world had gone on just as usual all those years before we'd been corralled and stuffed into this controlled existence.

I can see it going on still, but I can't touch it. 

I watch it like a surreal television show. (I remember television, too; that's how old I am.) I watch the people and the cars moving about on their own. Nobody's telling them how to line up. Nobody's telling them where to go or what to do. Nobody's stopping them from doing it. I watch it like I used to watch war documentaries. It was something that didn't affect me. I didn't have to participate back then, so I never let it bother me.

But it bothers me now. The memories ignite and explode inside me like fireworks lighting my way. I want to be free again. I want to be out there, on the other side of the glass with my face to the stars and feel the night breeze chill my skin, and I want to have goosebumps. 

I want to be afraid of my own decisions, and I want to feel the courage of making them anyway.

I don't know how I'll do it, but I'm about to start a war, and it will affect everybody in this place..

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